The St. Patrick's Parade Society of Toronto is supported by the Government of Ireland through the Emigrant Support Programme
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Jokes & Toasts
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Having a good laugh is part of the craic when celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Feel free to use any or all of these.
Long Life Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer – and another one! ...
Lost Count
A wee boy came home from school in tears. 'What's the matter, son?' asked his mammy. 'We were doing sums today, Mammy,' he said. 'And were they too hard?' 'Well, the teacher said either I couldn't count, or I was stupid, or all three.' ...
Digging a Hole
A passer-by watched two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again.
'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?'
'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Fergal plants the tree and Sean fills in the hole.
Today Fergal is away unwell, but that doesn't mean Sean and I have to take the day off, does it?' ...
Friendship Toast
May the lilt of Irish laughter lighten every load. May the mist of Irish magic shorten every road... And may all your friends remember all the favours you are owed! ...
Paddy's Password
During a recent audit of accounts at Allied Irish Bank it was found that Paddy had assigned himself an account password of "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyDueyLoueyDonaldGoofyDublin".
When asked by the branch manager why he had such an odd password, Paddy replied, "Jaysus! It was youse dat told me to! The instructions were to have a password of 8 characters with at least one capital!"
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Last Updated (Saturday, 31 October 2009 08:15)
Only 3 days until the 23rd Toronto St. Patrick's Day Parade Sunday, March 14, 2010!
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